By John English
Intentionality is an important guiding principle in my life. It is a certain way of living forward with optimism, and with faith in my values. It is not harsh or demanding. It is not oppressive or judgemental. It is about living consciously, being aware of how I operate in my everyday life, and choosing (intending) to live that life with awareness and integrity.
I think the classic example of intentionality is New Year’s Resolutions. How many times (I can’t count!) have I made promises to myself as a new year rolls around. I’m going to lose weight. I’m going to exercise more. I’m going to visit my elderly neighbour regularly.
And then it all slips away in the pressures and anxieties of everyday life, followed right on cue by guilt, which begins to poison the whole enterprise. I am caught between my intentions and the expectations they create.
I try now to lighten my expectations of myself, my desire to be perfect, my determination to live without error. My refusal to accept my limitations and vulnerabilities as a human being meant that I refused to accept myself. I denied my humanity. I have found that this is not a particularly beneficial way to sustain my mental health.
Intentionality and vulnerability are not mutually exclusive. I can have both. I will have both because I am part of the human family. Intentionality embraces vulnerability and imperfection and human weakness. It is not in the denial of my human frailties that I find strength and purpose, but in accepting them, loving them for being part of who we are, and then moving forward with intention.
I know that I will often fail in my intentions. I may intend to write in my journal every day, but I know that, for whatever reason, I won’t. I live by the motto, “Every day is an opportunity to start over.” I have faith that a particular outcome or behavioral change is possible and has value, even if I can’t see it. That is the definition of faith – belief is something unseen. I have faith that my best intentions are directed towards goodness and love of self and others.
