By Brian CR Staple, Co-Edited by Sandra Beazley
Writing your own obituary may strike you as unusual. But why not? Many have found compiling their end-of-life journey to be a comfortable exercise. By being in that front seat (compiling your memories), it’s a meaningful way to come to terms with the whole idea of dying, no matter how far in the future that might be. Consequently, it gives you that ‘last’ opportunity to reflect on your life, reminiscing on those favorite times, but what’s most important is saying goodbye to family members/friends – in your own words.
Your obituary is all about you, your personality/style, whether you were silly or serious, mythological, or a free spirit –you get to set the tone. Myself I would prefer a humourist obituary, one that highlighted a unique perspective on life, thus providing a much-needed laugh for my grieving ones.
Helpful Suggestions
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Identification: Your full name, nickname, maiden, and specific initials/titles – i.e. Dr., Sir, Reverend or Military prefixes. Place/date of birth, age and where you presently resided. Death date – well, someone else will add that in, lol...
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Names of Loved Ones: Spouses, children, grandchildren, parents, siblings, nephews, nieces, and close relatives are most common. Long lost friends, beloved pets – anyone/anything that was special to you, this is the place to acknowledge them.
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Your Education: Schools attended, career highlights, degrees obtained – if so inclined. Places of employment and or notable achievements. Share life’s lessons learned from your experiences as advice for others.
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Volunteering: Mention memberships in any organizations that mattered to you, like sports clubs, fire departments, food banks, Lions, Legion, nonprofits, or religious groups.
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Hobbies: Your interests. Sports you've played, Coaching, those activities you had enjoyed participating in back in the day will spark those who were with you along the way.
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Encouragement/Inspirational: Use your obituary as a platform to inspire/encourage others about the obstacles you did and did not overcome. Digress positively on those accomplishments.
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Be Grateful: Describe your gratitude for those who helped you (by any means) along life’s path. Doing so speaks volumes, especially to those who inspired you prior to your last days. Also, acknowledging close friends – the mention of a special time/place only they would comprehend, doing so helps give closure to them, that's important.
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The Funeral: Are you wanting a Church Service, Funeral Home Service, or a Celebration of Life? Discuss these different options with your immediate family, get their opinions.
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Memorial Service: Now that your mindset is at its peak, maybe put a bit of consideration into your Memorial – aka the W5’s: who/what/when/where/why. This event provides the means to state/display your personal items, be it pictures/hobbies and milestones. Also, it’s important to those who want to acknowledge their wishes too; via speeches/poems and the like.
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End Result: After completing your obituary’s draft, seek a reliable individual to review it for grammatical and spelling accuracy and to ensure that you’ve effectively communicated your intended message. After your final breath, the last step is submitting the Obituary, either through the Funeral Home, local newspapers, Facebook, and/or any organisations that you belonged. Getting the word out is important for those who knew you, giving them ‘closure’ as well.
In conclusion, it may seem unconventional to write one's own obituary but it’s entirely normal. Nowadays, more individuals prefer to be remembered in a manner that reflects their personal wishes. By writing/compiling such, it’s one last thing not to think about when your time on this earth is coming near. The serenity of you doing so will stand strong long after your departure – a personal memento of your being. So, put pen to paper and make it happen.
